Sherlock Holmes, Consulting Prostitute
by votraltesse
Summary: Mycroft decides to play a game where Sherlock must use his powers of seduction to do a series of test. Many ships. Some yaoi. You don't like you don't read. (( this will not be written again because I don't see the point. Feel free to read and message me if you think I should continue it))
1. The Game Is On

Chapter 1 : The Game Is On.

"BORED!" yelled Sherlock to no one really as Mycroft entered the apartment. "Are you ever

anything but brother?" smirked Mycroft as he sat in John's chair across from his curly haired brother. "There's not thing to do!" moaned Sherlock, "I long for the thrill of a case. Of the challenge. Of the game!" A playful sly smile crossed the older of the two's face, Mycroft had an idea. Based on recent events, the british government had the prefect way to amuse himself and stop everyone from putting up with his persistent whining. "Well, brother dear~ I have a fantastic challenging game we, well you mostly, can play."

"What is it?" beamed Sherlock jumping out of his chair and huge grin (much like a child in a candy shop) plastered across his face.

" Recently you've proven that your skill,brother dearest, lay not only in deduction but in seduction also."

The grin left Sherlock's face. A tidal wave of horror, confusion and lack of comfort came crash over he as he asked " W-what d-do you...h-have i-in mind?"

"I was thinking we could put your skills to the test. I choose who,where and when. You can deal with the how. As for why...ifyou succeed in all your tests I'll get you a dog. One like old Redbeard."

"Really?" said Sherlock, the childish smile returned to his handsome face. "Okay. Who,where and when?"

"Who: Anderson. Where: His Flat. When:. Tomorrow at no earlier than 6pm. I'll be busy until then." stated Mycroft. None of it was up for question.

"I can deduce that your other commitment is not work based. If fact I'd say you followed my advice and got yourself a _`goldfish`..._And I'd be right in saying that this person is called Lestrade. It's clear from your overall happy mood, the new tie, the smell of Mayfair cigarettes. Not your usually brand meaning you've been smoking someone else. Not to mention the red bite mark on your kneck-"

_"_That's enough Sherlock." spat Mycroft getting up and walking out. " I'll see you tomorrow."

Just than John walked up stairs only to be pushed aside by a blushing Mycroft. "The Game is on,brother." Called Sherlock from the other room. "What on earth is going on?" sighed John entering the apartment.


	2. Lowering The IQ

Chapter 2: Lowering the IQ

It was exactly 6:00pm when Mycroft and Sherlock arrived outside the shabby,ransacked building that Anderson referred to as a _'block of flats'_ but in fact was more a pit full of despair and disappointment.

"Don't try and fake this,brother. I'll be watching." giggled Mycroft as he flipped open his laptop.

"Won't dream of it." smirked Sherlock as he set off into the disregarded building, subconsciously turning up his collar as he went.

~~In the Flat a few minutes later ~~

"When I was last here..."grinned Sherlock sat with his chair pulled up closely to Anderson, "...you said that the way I did _it, _the way I lived, was not that smart. So tell me,former detective Anderson,how would you have done it?"

"S-seriously? " shuttered Anderson both unnerved and slightly charmed by three things. One, The closeness between him and the curly haired man with stunning eyes. Two, the tone of said man's voice. It was alluring in a way that seemed forbidden and wrong yet you don't care. Three, and the most important in this test, the attention Sherlock was giving the know bearded man. Sherlock Holmes giving Ian Anderson attention. Unheard of. '_Let here he is' _thought Anderson _'sat so close to me. Listening. Actually concerning himself with me other than to point where I'm going wrong.' _

Andersons happy thought trail was broken by the feeling of someone gripping his hand. "Please~I want to hear your idea, Anderson. Your best one." Sherlock leaned closer to Anderson and whispered lowly in his ear. " Please~ I'll do anything~". Almost automatically Anderson gripped Sherlock by his coat and clung desperately to his hand as he mumbled out his idea in great but quick detail. The best one. With Darren Brown and the kiss with Molly. Once he'd finished there was a brief silence.

"Brilliant." whispered Sherlock, "Except one detail..."

"It's the Darren Brown thing isn't it." panicked Anderson. However he calmed down as a soft hand stroked his check. " No,"smiled Sherlock leaning close to Andersons trembling lips."The kiss. It should have been like this."

Softly Sherlock placed his lips on Andersons tilting his head slightly inviting Anderson to melt into the kiss. Which he did. Anderson wrapped his arms around Sherlock's slender kneck. _'For Godsake Mycroft. Hurry up and call it of.' _mentally screamed Sherlock as Anderson ran his tongue down his lower lip asking for entry. Reluctantly Sherlock opened his mouth allowing Andersons ravenous tongue to explore his mouth.

"That'll do little brother." smirked Mycroft from the doorway abruptly. He wasn't alone next to him stood Lestrade shaking his head. "Finally."blurted Sherlock getting up and walking out the door "Who's next?" "Molly." stated the elder of the Holmes brothers following Sherlock out of the flat. "Ian, I'm sorry... Their only messing." tried Lestrade. "Get out!" screamed Anderson chucking the nearest thing at Lestrade's head as the inspector turned to run after his boyfriend and Sherlock.

~~Outside~~

"Y'know you two may know a hella lot about running the countries secret service or solving closed room murders but" ranted Greg to Mycroft and Sherlock , who clearly (he thought) were the paying the slightest attention, as the three of them got in his car as Mycroft's was no longer there." youse know nothing about people and emotions. And in that sense," he said looking at Sherlock" your lowering the IQ of the entire street."

As they buckled up (Sherlock in the back, Mycroft and Lestrade upfront) a silence grew only being cut through by the low hum of the engine. "Your wrong." whispered Mycroft abruptly. "Pardon?" asked Lestrade, who had learnt that his posh very important to the british government boyfriend couldn't stand bad manners. "My brother and I know as much about people as you do, Gregory." replied Mycroft, a hint of pain and hurt in his usually calm or mocking voice. "But it's not the information you have its how you use it." Angry brimmed in Mycrofts eyes as he turned away from a guilty looking Greg to stare out of the window. "I didn't mean it like that..." whispered the police inspector under his breathe.

"If you two are going to fight, which you are, I'd like to get out. I'd rather take the sub." said Sherlock wearily from the back. Lestrade sighed pulling the car over. "Are we still up for tomorrow, Mycroft?" asked Sherlock.

"Yes. Yes. I'll see you there." responded Mycroft absent-mindedly. Resulting in Sherlock giving Lestrade a glare that said '_fix this' _before he hopped out the car and disappeared into the hectic streets of the Eastend.

"Mycroft..."said Greg starting off again."I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"It' . Just. Take. Me. Home." gritted Mycroft through his teeth.

"Okay." sighed Greg. Sometimes, he'd learnt you had to let the Holmes boys have a moment.

"And your coming inside. "

"Hmh?"

"We'll watch a film and you can stay the night if you wish."

"Sounds like fun." smiled Greg seeing the smirk on Mycrofts face and realising that his tricky boyfriend had been pretending to be upset to get rid of Sherlock.


	3. Head Over Heels

Chapter 3: Head Over Heels.

Silently Sherlock walked into Molly's lab as his brother and Lestrade stood impatiently outside."Molly" said Sherlock making the younger lady jump. "I need your help." All he got was death stare. "Anderson told me about yours and Mycrofts stupid little game."

For a few seconds,that felt like eternity for Sherlock, he replied "We not doing that anymore." He hoped that Molly hadn't noticed the pause. The only sign of his lying. " It made me very uncomfortable...and that's what I need your help with Molly." Without hesitation the detective lent closer to her and placed a gentle hand on hers.

Slap! Molly struck Sherlock on the head making him stagger backwards. "You lying basterd!Do you really think I'm that stupid?" she yelled hitting him again. " Don't you dare answer that! After all these years of you playing me leading me on you think you just-!"

She stopped yelling as the sound of someone having a laughing fit come from the other side of the door. As Sherlock stood rubbing his bruised cheek, Molly stormed over to the door yanking it open so hard it nearly fell off its hinges. And low and behold the other Holmes came tumbling into the room, laughing, as the door he'd been using to prop himself up was taken away. "Your a DICK!" she spat at Mycroft as he pushed himself off the floor giggling. " As for you," she said viciously jabbing a finger at Greg. "you should know better." "I-I..." mumbled Lestrade grabbing Mycroft and pulling him back slightly. "GET THEM OUT!" she screamed at the frightened police office who was clinging onto his boyfriend for dear life. "Come on lets leave the lady to her hissy fit." smirked Mycroft taking Greg's hand and leading him out. " Sherlock." shouted Mycroft as he and Lestrade vanished down the stair well. Quickly he sprinted after them not wanting to face Molly's wrath alone. Suddenly a door with a poster for the new coffee shop (not that even Sherlock had time to consciously recognise it) opened knocking him down the stairs backwards. He tumbled down head over heels until he resented the bottom.

"My lord, brother. What is it with you and falling." smirked Mycroft looking down at his little brother.


	4. You Should See Me In A Coffee Shop

**Authors Note: Sorry for taking sooooo long uploading this new chapter. I had writers block.**

Chapter 4: You should see me in a coffee shop

For reasons unknown to the world's greatest detective he was just going for a walk when he ended up outside a brand new coffee shop he'd never heard of. The sweet aroma of coffee and fresh bread hung seductive in the air of the cloudy miserable day. It held a promise of warm heaven and delicious food. So he went in. Well, there was all so the fact he was dying for a cigarette and coffee helped calm the craving for a while.

Purposefully he strode over to the vacant counter ignoring the hipsters whispering to each other and typing frantically on there phones about the fact Sherlock Holmes was in the coffee shop with them. One evening had the balls to take a picture. " One latte please." he said the the man behind the counter with his back to him. "Sure, love" chirped the voice that was faintly familiar. " Take a seat and I'll be over with it in a sec." "Thank you" mumbled Sherlock whose evil older brother had recently complained to their mother that Sherlock had _'no manners'. _Consequently Sherlock had to put up with an long lecture on the phone.

Taking a seat near the window Sherlock wondered when his brother would decide who he had to seduce next. Recently Sherlock had missed Redbread alot more then usual and desperately want a new dog. Deep down he knew (although he'd never admit it) that this longing for companionship was due to John's recent marriage that caused the two to have strained contact. Sherlock was so desperate for someone to talk to he'd even resorted to attempting conversation with Mrs Hudson. Attempted. Mainly he'd been help Lestrade with even the simplest of cases. Ones even Scotland yards most dim wited (in Sherlock's opinion) detectives could have solved by himself. It was clear Gregory was only humoring Sherlock for Mycroft's sake. " They make an odd couple" thought Sherlock leaning back in the soft cushioned chair slightly. Due to both the consulting detective powers of deduction and Mycroft's lack of trying to hide it, Sherlock had always known his brother was gay but he'd never imagined him in a relationship. Mycroft Holmes in a relationship! Mycroft who had never had friends. Who'd only ever spoke to his brother unless he didn't have choice was in a relationship with Greg Lestrade. It had recently been in the paper formerly known by Magnussen and now Mycroft was tracking the person who'd sold the story to the paper. He wasn't ashamed of his relationship with Lestrade but he couldn't have the enter country knowing about. They weren't even supposed to know his name!

"Here you go." said the coffeeshop man placing it two cups down on the table." I only ordered one." stated Sherlock flatly. "I know but I thought I'd surprise you." chirped the man so happily you could practically hear the grin in his voice. "What on earth -" Sherlock stopped when he looked up. He was froze in Sherlock. It was...

Suddenly what was plainly a fake fire alarm went off sending the hipsters running. "So...did you miss me?" smiled Mortiaty cheerfully was he sat across from Sherlock.


End file.
